Tuesday, September 1, 2009

IF IT'S A BLACK HOLE

IF IT'S A BLACK HOLE
~
Perhaps I am just an ant, of sorts, to a higher food chain
and fate is 'whatever'
You may only be a shooting star
or
randomly 'forever'
~
Perhaps I do not have a choice in my destiny
and decisions are a programmed brain
You many be an integral part of me
like
a sweet refrain
~
Perhaps there is nothing after my last awareness
(if I even exist)
Thus ~ I throw my head back in what feels like laugahter
and love what feels like your kiss
~
by
Melba Poff Shaver
September 1, 2009

Monday, August 17, 2009

REMEMBER

Remember when life was great ?
The delicacies we ate ?
Goulash, cookie dough and cinnamon toast...
"nutritious stuff" to full little tummy's innermost.
When love was given with no expense
in innocence
and little hands picked little weeds for mama's vase
and
rmember when the "astro-nuts" sent frogs up in space ?
Then there was the time...and it covered the kitchen tabalae...
we made p-nut brittle and ate it 'til we weren't able !
What would we have done without our "weather girl" and her "windshield factor" ?
How many times did Jim's fingers get "slammed" in doors...what an actor.
Oh what a funny sight...the attack of the snake...
Karol was fast up the hill but Sherry's fear did overtake.
Bee's flew up daddy's pants!
War was declared between the black and brown anats !
Chickens roosted in the trees !
Wasps took over...under the eaves !
Blackberries grew...
Vegetables few...
Bullfrogs leaped down the hall
and "fall"...
when leaves colored our humble hill
and twirled and whirled and then lay still.
Sheila brought Santa to life for Jim...
he BELIEVED it was HIM !
One of our dogs ate the Easter eggs...
one of the dogs tried to eat my legs...
Lightning bugs bejeweled the night...
You kids bejeweled your fingers with their light.
With a steel garage door, we built a "heck-of-a-deck"
and a sandbox for Zack, in the back.
Eddie limbed a swing
and you know what, I trusted that thing !
Who could forget "Elvis"...
God rest his soul...
oh the stories that dog could've told !
Nobody knows what grew on Jim's bedroom floor
nor what went on behind Keri's bedroom door.
Jami primped, Keri danced, Jim joked
and if meals weren't calm,
daddy choked.
It's sad to recall when Jim stepped on the "pack-saddle"
and Jami mashed her fingers flat
and I quit smoking for six months
and got fat !
Jami fought with Misty.
Jim fought with Keith.
A burglar came one night
and gave Jim a terible fright.
Karol and Sherry's prom dances,
romances,
recording themselves in their "sing-along",
on the phone all day long.
The big ol' bed that Skip made...
where everybody laid.
And remember the toilet paper holder
that was the handle of a little black heater...
what could be neater ?
'cept when your dad "slid down Igou Gap on ice
and we laughed from the windows (now that wasn't nice) !
We gathered kindlin' and toted logs
and cleaned up trash strewn by the dogs
and remember the pool...
kept youkids cool !
But dad said, "Clean it, I mean it" !
"Get rid of the leaves and grime
and green slime" !
I'll never forget my black eye
that Sherry gave me when daddy chased us eith a jarfly...
nor when the dogwoods bloomed...
and sometimes, thunder boomed...
and indian corn hung by the kitchen door...
and
we thought we were poor !
Remember when Sheila had labor for two whole days
and began her motherhood ways
and I realized she was a woman that morning in September
when she came to take Karol and Sherry to school...oh how I remember !
I guess we didn't even realize it was a thrill
when shadows whispered upon our hill.
"A. J. Mom" drove the Maverick with holes in the floor
and the tardy bell rang just as the girls ran through the school door.
The rain came, the friveway went...
we filled the gullies with backs bent...
every month or two...
but the gullies grew
and in the end, we were beat...
we walked in the rain, sleet, snoe, cold and heat !
Remember when life was great
at the kitchen table in family debate
but nothing can top
~the flop~
our trip to Panama
when the car caught on fire, got stopped by the law,
Jami "caught" Jim's fish and both were in gloom
in the motel room...
soon joined by Keri...burned red
and when we finally got home...
the dog was dead...
and there for awhile,
daddy wasn't going to walk Karol down the aisle !
Some times that were bad,
sad,
broke my heart,
when daddy came home from the hospital, pulled up the hill in Lockman's cart...
couldn't even get up out of the bed...
could hardly raise his head...
and I saw him cry...
so afraid he was going to die.
Then the Christmas I was so sick and my shopping wasn't through...
...girls...
there would have been no Santa, if it hadn't been for you !
If it hadn't been for all of you,
my memories would be few !
Yes...I remember...so well,
more than I can ever tell !

LAYOVER

You knew the name that went with my face
in a photograph
taken since we met.
You put it on the refrigerator with a magnet
~to remind you...?
~that I'm here...?
You do love me on your highest level
which is my lowest.
We shared dishes long enough that we became comfortable
treating each other within our limits.
You wore me as a coat on the coldest days
but I was the one who was cold
~on the hottest days~
(and I smile because you won't have a clue).
That you couldn't help leaving me in your boredom
is why I need to get off.
When people need to become invisible
forever...or just to rest,
sharing the journey can feel like love.
~
God, it's no fun to take a trip alone !

"IF" ~ I GET OLD (smile)

I'll wear "midnight, sprinkled with stardust"
and fake eyelashes and diamonds on my toenails.
I'll spend money on Christmas lights and Barneys coffee
and lobster and buy presents for a secret lover...
and won't care if I become homeless.
I'll lay in a pile of leaves
and make things in the clouds
and catch snowflakes on my tongue
and do it all...
in the company of
my favorite person
(via trial and error elimination).
I'll dance in rain puddles and sing
(my own songs)
LOUD
and talk to Jack Frost and Santa Claus,
of course
and have a tea party with my Granny
(she would have so loved that).
I'll say all the things I never said
but wanted to
(good and bad)
and get revenge
and tell 'some' secrets !
Ahhh...how sweet that will be !
And I might even join a nudist colony !
I'll decorate my house for Christmas
and leave it that way all year
and travel anywhere my fancy leads me
and go to plays and rodeo's and symphony's
and drink lots of wine from a crystal glass
~with my name engraved on it~
~and~
cry just because I don't like my name.
And I'll use all those familiar 'bad words'
that for now, I try not to use.
~
But 'til then...
I'll just keep wearing a brown shirt !

WORTH IT

Hold me ~ sometime ~ in an afternoon,
that'll have to do,
that's really all we have for now.
Touch me ~ sometime ~ in the darkness
and laugh with me for jsut a little while,
somewhere away from the rest of life.
~
And if we get to go to a place of more,
it won't matter if we never get to go there again.
Once, will wrap it's arms around me.
Once will take me warm into winter.
Once, will make all the breaths I've breathed when I die
~worth it~

TOUCH MY NIGHT

Shades of purple, frost the flaming sun,
Wispy streaks of yellow, day is nearly done,
Tall, shadowy trees, whisper a breeze
and flutters through my hair with a tingly tease.
Mystic night-time sprinkles stars all around,
Silver moonbeams streak to the ground,
transforming the leaves to emerald lace
~and~
darkness takes me to a lonely place.

LOVE IS RELATIVE

Love...hmmm...
well, there's love for your parents, love for your kitten, love for your God,
love for your first boyfriend, love for your first sexual love
~and~
love for the person you marry.
~
Ahhh...
love for your child,
nothing can compare with that,
except love for your grandchild,
nothing can compare with that.
~
Ohhh...
love of a new dress or new car or new house,
love of fudge brownies with nuts,
love for holidays
and oh yes, love for getting older...(what a crock) !
~
Falling out of love?
Yep, relative...
...to the significance of it in life.
"I love you", may stay but "I'm in love with you" goes away.
And you get old and die.
~
but I'm not old or dead...
~what's that relative to~