"IF" ~ I GET OLD (smile)

I'll wear "midnight, sprinkled with stardust"

and fake eyelashes and diamonds on my toenails.

I'll spend money on Christmas lights and Barneys coffee

and lobster and buy presents for a secret lover...

and won't care if I become homeless.

I'll lay in a pile of leaves

and make things in the clouds

and catch snowflakes on my tongue

and do it all...

in the company of

my favorite person

(via trial and error elimination).

I'll dance in rain puddles and sing

(my own songs)

LOUD

and talk to Jack Frost and Santa Claus,

of course

and have a tea party with my Granny

(she would have so loved that).

I'll say all the things I never said

but wanted to

(good and bad)

and get revenge

and tell 'some' secrets !

Ahhh...how sweet that will be !

And I might even join a nudist colony !

I'll decorate my house for Christmas

and leave it that way all year

and travel anywhere my fancy leads me

and go to plays and rodeo's and symphony's

and drink lots of wine from a crystal glass

~with my name engraved on it~

~and~

cry just because I don't like my name.

And I'll use all those familiar 'bad words'

that for now, I try not to use.

~

But 'til then...

I'll just keep wearing a brown shirt !

WORTH IT

Hold me ~ sometime ~ in an afternoon,

that'll have to do,

that's really all we have for now.

Touch me ~ sometime ~ in the darkness

and laugh with me for jsut a little while,

somewhere away from the rest of life.

~

And if we get to go to a place of more,

it won't matter if we never get to go there again.

Once, will wrap it's arms around me.

Once will take me warm into winter.

Once, will make all the breaths I've breathed when I die

~worth it~

TOUCH MY NIGHT

Shades of purple, frost the flaming sun,

Wispy streaks of yellow, day is nearly done,

Tall, shadowy trees, whisper a breeze

and flutters through my hair with a tingly tease.

Mystic night-time sprinkles stars all around,

Silver moonbeams streak to the ground,

transforming the leaves to emerald lace

~and~

darkness takes me to a lonely place.

LOVE IS RELATIVE

Love...hmmm...

well, there's love for your parents, love for your kitten, love for your God,

love for your first boyfriend, love for your first sexual love

~and~

love for the person you marry.

~

Ahhh...

love for your child,

nothing can compare with that,

except love for your grandchild,

nothing can compare with that.

~

Ohhh...

love of a new dress or new car or new house,

love of fudge brownies with nuts,

love for holidays

and oh yes, love for getting older...(what a crock) !

~

Falling out of love?

Yep, relative...

...to the significance of it in life.

"I love you", may stay but "I'm in love with you" goes away.

And you get old and die.

~

but I'm not old or dead...

~what's that relative to~

JOURNEY TO WISDOM

I've been walking this road for so long

that the 'soul of my heart' is wearing out.

It was 'spring', I think, when I marked the map.

The pictures were so pretty.

I made reservations

with 'no refund'

then I had reservations.

On my way out, everything looked so different.

I turned down instead of up.

I turned wrong instead of right.

But, I think I can see me waiting for me

and an owl in a cedar tree

and a new pair of shoes.

I'D GIVE MY LOVE TO YOU

If I could give you anything on earth

I'd give you your worth

from the things I can see better with my head in the clouds, in my fantasy...

an eternity

of wealth and health

laughter, from mine to last forever

and love, from your children to end never.

~

If I could give you anything in the sky

I would cry

tears of gold into the pot at the end of your rainbow

and breathe your life re-instated

un-invaded

by the complications of loving me

and leaving me.

A MOMENT

~so little time left even if there is more than this moment~

~

While all those other moments melted into the soup pot of years

I marched to the tick of many clocks

was trampled in the hours

became a survivor of other people's time.

~

Old didn't even feel mandatory

I saw millions of moments in the future

~but~

the reflection of me in the mirror was growing dim

(it didn't look like it was DYING though).

~

Death was not even a word in my vocabulary

(except for goldfish or a plant that I didn't take care of)

until my heart stopped beating, until my lungs stopped breathing

until I would become ashes in a moment.

~

But for a momentary glimpse into the eyes of life

but for one faint heartbeat

but for one gasp of breath

I would have ceased to exist.

~

~live for a moment~